Pat Noodle’s Weblog

Name – Pat Noodle

Hometown – Manchester, United Kingdom

Favourite saying – Put a finger in it

Favourite elbow – Left

Religion – Shrewdermanism (Shrewdermanism is the worshiping of the one, true God, the Shrewderman. There are many stories of the Shrewderman showing his great power, usually ending in a tragic mistake. Like the time when the little, Jewish, kung-fu fighting bird tortured and accidentally killed Jesus whilst trying to find out his delicious, secret, southern fried recipe. He was also involved in a prank gone wrong when he shot Abraham Lincoln in the back of the head with a pistol that John Hancock said “It’s not loaded. I’ll take a picture. It’ll be funny” (Hancock managed to miss the picture because it took him so long to sign his massive signature for telegraph that read “Paying too much for your cart insurance? Then morse -.-. …. . .- .–. . .-. to Rear Admiral and one of our expert customer service personnel will morse you straight back” (Funny thing is, Hancock didn’t own a cart)), Shrewderman has now only gone and gave the child star who won Britain’s Got Talent some form of bird aids when he clumsily feed the lad lumps of Mark Fowler in his curry instead of beef.)

Occupation – I run my own business called “Flappin’ Heck”. I make accessories for men’s bat wings (the bit between a man’s balls and his arse). I make many capes, a shield of steel, extensions to make it into other wings (the front wing of a 1976 Austin Allegro for example) and many more accessories.